Definitions of Love

A woman wants a man with washboard abs, who dresses well, who smells good, who tells her she's beautiful, who makes her laugh, who fixes the cars and the lawns and always knows the right thing to say.

A woman wants a man who's strong, who's sensitive, who earns money but is often home to take care of her, to take care of the kids. A woman wants a man who takes her places, who has sex when she wants it and not when she doesn't. A woman wants a man to tell her it'll be okay, to put the seat down, to leave his shoes at the door, to play with the kids, to ride a motorcycle and look good in a leather jacket, to paint the living room and expand the kitchen.

A woman wants a man who won't complain when she spends too much, who won't be upset when she's out with the girls, flirting with other guys (he's secure after all), who doesn't flirt with other women. A woman wants a man who lives close by, who lives far away, who won't hit her, and if he does, apologizes and says he'll never do it again (and she'll believe him). A woman wants a man who will cheat on her (if he's sexy enough for others, he's sexy enough for me), at least she'll stay with him. A woman wants a man who will stay with her if she cheats on him. A woman wants a man who will never cheat on her. A woman wants a man who's stronger, kinder, harder, softer, nicer, more decisive, less authoritative, less stubborn, more like a dog, less like a dog, who likes to kiss but always has good breath. A woman wants a man to tell her what he's thinking. A woman wants a man to not talk so much.