When I was in second grade I came home from school on a Monday and found a copy of C.S. Lewis' The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe on my bed. It was reward for helping clean and vacuum around the house over the weekend. I began reading it--devoured it, actually--and became a reader and began an adventure into Narnia and Middle earth that would stick with me for over thirty years. I now have over 2000 books and often joke to writing classes that I have taught that I'm glad that the reward wasn't chocolate.That's the power of reward. That's the power of habit.
A friend of mine recommended The Power of Habit for our entrepreneur/business group, and I picked up a copy at Barnes and Noble on Tuesday. I began reading it right away.
What I've found so far has been pretty amazing.
First, our brains have the ability to store and relegate things we do repetitively to the arena of habit. We don't think about driving a car, brushing our teeth, or even going to the gym (or the TV). It's a way to maximize our "brain space" to do other things, things that require more attention (such as writing blogs). We do these habits almost instinctively, and once something becomes a habit, it never entirely goes away.
But (and here's the good news) our habits can be changed. Most of why we do what we do depends on a loop that Duhigg calls the Cue-Routine-Reward loop. The cue is the desire or need, the reward is the satisfaction or good feeling at the end, the routine is how we get there. This could apply to cleaning a bed and then feeling the satisfaction over a clean room, having a cup of coffee and feeling more alert afterwards, running five miles and feeling the euphoria, or having a drink at a party and feeling more accepted in a group. Some of our routines can be good (exercising, cleaning), while others can be damaging (excessive drinking, smoking, overeating).
For me, understanding the Cue-Routine-Reward loop is important. It's important to understand our desires and the rewards that meet those. Are we lonely? Are we wanting a feeling of accomplishment? Of validation? To belong in relationship? These are all real needs. The question is, How do we meet them? What routine/habit will we do to give us the "reward" we seek?
I loved being affirmed for cleaning the house. I didn't get a lot of affirmation growing up, and this was one area where I did. The book on my bed symbolized that affirmation, and so a powerful bond was created between buying a book and the feeling of affirmation or well being that was connected to it. I remember later, when I was in college, having a longing for experiences, for relationships, for connectedness and would head to Barnes & Noble and browse the rows of books. I loved the smell of them, the new look, the crisp covers and unbent pages. I loved the purchase of a paperback and the possibility of enjoyment I would feel as I read it. The only problem was, I only read a third of the books I bought. The reward wasn't in the reading, but in the having.
Understanding this Cue-Routine-Reward loop can create new habits. For example, I wasn't making much progress on writing a book until I made a goal of 1000 words a day. The reward for writing an entire book seemed too daunting, too far away, but the reward for writing 1000 words was much more doable. Also, when I graded papers I picked 3-5 papers to grade, and then I would take a break, rewarding myself with a walk, or checking email. My wife and I have "fallen into" the habit of spending our nights watching TV. We come home at the end of the day exhausted, and don't have a lot of energy for anything taxing. Now that the weather is getting warmer, we may try replacing TV time with walks around the subdivision so we can create new habits.
The power of habit and the Cue-Routine-Reward loop isn't entirely a new concept. Ephesians 4:28 says: "Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need" (NIV). There's a rush to stealing, even a reward. It goes beyond the physical "I have something in my possession I didn't have before because I need it" (Winona Ryder's stealing $5000 worth of clothes in 2001 is a good example). There's an emotional/psychological reward. It's the reward of not being caught. While the stealing habit loop is destructive, it can be replaced, but not eliminated. In the Ephesians passage, the habit of stealing is being replaced with the habit of sharing what you have with others in need, and that, too, can be a rush (reward).
I'm still glad that the reward as a child was books and not chocolate, but I've become more aware of the habits I have, why I have them, and which ones I want to keep and which ones I want to change. Wish me well on this journey, and I wish the same for you.
